Girl Talk
by MagPie003
Summary: A future fic in which parking tickets are finally resolved and Duke learns a valuable lesson about the perils of eavesdropping on his tenant. Established N/A. I own nothing.


Running an honest business, with accurate ledgers, was harder than it looked. After getting a different sum from the same column of numbers for the third time in a row, Duke called it a night. He turned off the computer, closed the folder full of invoices, and stuck it back into the desk drawer. It would still be there tomorrow. In the meantime, he could use a drink before helping Nora lock up. The sound of women's laughter reached his ears as he exited the little back office. Audrey was at the bar sipping what had to be a happy martini from the smile she was exchanging with Nora. As he approached the bar, Audrey quietly said something to the other woman that made them both crack up again. Duke was highly amused to see his two favorite blondes giggling like a pair of teenage girls.

"Seriously," Audrey chortled, "what was he-Oh, hey Duke!"

"Evening, ladies." Duke greeted as he took the stool next to Audrey's. Already, Nora was pouring port wine into a glass.

"Gave up on the ledger for the night?" Nora asked, handing him the full glass.

"Pretty much." He affirmed, taking it with a grateful smile.

"You know, Bill would probably help you with those if you asked." Audrey suggested. "If I remember right, he has a good head for numbers."

"You remember right. He'll probably come by later this week." He said. "It's not quite time yet."

"When would it be?"

"Normally, I call Bill around the time Duke stops swearing in English." Nora answered for him.

"Whether I want you to or not." Duke grumbled.

"You're welcome, boss." She teased with an easy smile as she moved away to present the tab to one of the customers.

"Stops swearing in English?" Audrey repeated, quirking an eyebrow.

"You'd be surprised at the satisfaction you get cursing a blue streak in multiple languages." He explained, sipping his wine. "So, what was so funny earlier?"

"Oh, nothing really. Just girly stuff." Audrey deflected, fiddling with the olive in her drink. He accepted the dodge with an amiable shrug. Audrey had few chances to indulge in girl talk. It wouldn't be fair to wreck the opportunity by prying.

"If I'd known you were coming in tonight, I'd have given up sooner." Duke said as he enjoyed his port. It was helping to dull the aggravation of the last few hours. Nora always seemed to know what he was looking for. Some days, she gave him something to savor while mellowing out with friends. Others, she left the single malt with a glass and backed away slowly.

"Wasn't planning on it at first." She explained. "Then, Nathan had a last minute meeting. I felt like a drink. Nora felt like some company. I think she was looking for a conversation that didn't involve fish, cards, or the sox."

"Gotcha." He replied, storing the distasteful subjects away in his mind as potentially useful information. "Speaking of which, I see someone I need to talk to about one of those topics. I'll leave you two to talk about, well, whatever women discuss when they're not talking about how awesome I am."

Audrey rolled her eyes and gave him a playful shove. With a wink, Duke ventured over to the other end of the bar where the man in question stood with a few guys he'd seen around. As he confirmed the time of Wednesday's poker game, Duke couldn't help keeping an ear out as the women returned to their conversation. He wasn't eavesdropping per se. Eavesdropping was something done by nosy gossips with nothing better to do. Duke was merely being aware of his surroundings. You didn't stay successful, let alone alive, in his preferred profession if you didn't. Besides, it was rare that Audrey came to the bar on a work night, alone, 'feeling like a drink.' It was even rarer that she came without checking first to see if he was going to be around. Duke suspected that she might be plying information from Nora between martinis regarding a new case. If that was true, it was probably information he needed to know. Duke had no fear of his employees accidentally implicating him in anything. He kept his businesses as separate as possible for just that reason. It was just wise to keep his ducks in a row. This little duckling had a tendency to keep him on the top of her speed dial when working. At first he didn't hear much because Audrey was keeping her voice low. Whatever she said must have been funny because they both started laughing again.

"Well, look on the bright side." Nora giggled. "If he's really that inexperienced, you can train him to do things the way you like it."

The snort of laughter that escaped him was thinly covered by the slight commotion of the men around him leaving for the night. Poor Nathan, he thought, guessing at the topic of their conversation. He'd been wondering about whether Nate's trouble had caused any issues in that arena. Not that he'd ever ask. There were some lines he didn't cross; even when it involved taunting Nathan. While Duke wasn't really interested in listening in on a discussion about Audrey's romance issues, curiosity was getting the better of him. Therefore, he chose to stay where he was, casually flipping through an abandoned Haven Herald. Their voices had dipped lower again while the men had said their good nights. Then, more giggles broke out.

"You're right, it was kind of cute. But still…"

Well, at least when he gets moody, he's no where near as bad as the last guy you were dating." Nora replied. "You know, there's something I've been wondering about him."

"Chris is still single the last I heard." Audrey teased. Duke let a quiet chuckle out at her inference. That definitely wouldn't be a match made in heaven. The pause in their conversation made him wonder if he'd been heard. However, Nora was just settling up with one of the remaining customers.

"No thank you!" She declined emphatically when finished. "I'm trying to figure out how you got past the beard. My brother started growing this scruffy goatee a few weeks ago and I don't know how his wife can stand it. It must be like kissing a porcupine."

Ouch! OK, that wasn't as funny to hear. Duke tried to cover his pout with a sip from his wine. Women had certainly never complained about _his_ beard. Well, at least not in front of him.

"It wasn't bad, just different." Audrey assured her with a little laugh. Duke's smile started to come back at her defense.

"Really, I thought it might've been irritating when…"

Duke lost the last part of Nora's sentence as she softened her voice to a whisper. However, Audrey's gasp and sputtered 'he didn't do that!' gave him a clue. Women had definitely never complain about _that_.

"Hmph. He really was as selfish as I thought then." Nora surmised with a sly smile. Stealing a glance, he could see that Audrey had turned a rather adorable shade of red. Not that he could blame her. The tips of his own ears felt a tad hot from Nora's blunt observations. The old theory was correct. Women were far more descriptive than men when talking about their love lives.

Their voices had dipped past his hearing again. That was fine. Their conversation really wasn't the one he'd been hoping for. Since he didn't want to give away that he'd been listening in, Duke tried to read the newspaper for real. Unfortunately for his good intentions, he overheard a surprised 'Nathan let you do what?' out of Nora a few sentences into the front page. His efforts were thwarted further by various words and phrases like 'shifting', 'grip', and 'easing into it.' All of these were completely innocent in and of themselves. Given the setting, and the fact that Duke's mind never rose more than a few inches above the gutter on a good day, he was reeling. His mind was going places that he'd never wanted an image of Nathan Wuornos residing. As he began to take a larger gulp from his glass, a comment from Nora undid him.

"I know it's big, Audrey, but, it's still delicate. You can't just jerk around the-"

It was at that point that Duke discovered that wine up the nose was a highly unpleasant sensation.

"Um, you okay over there?" Nora asked, looking like the picture of innocence and concern.

"Didn't realize there was anything that surprising in today's Herald." Audrey quipped as Duke glared at them and walked behind the bar for a towel.

"Seriously, girls, you need to be more discreet." He reprimanded as he wiped off his face. "What if a customer had heard you? I mean, I'm open minded but-"

"Duke, what are you talking about?" Audrey cut in, bewildered.

"You were just talking about Nathan's big…you know!"

"Truck?" Nora supplied for him, looking as confused as Audrey.

"What?"

"I was telling Nora how Nathan finally let me drive the Bronco." Audrey explained. "It was harder than I thought and he got a little huffy with me."

"And I was saying that it might be big, but, it was old and needed a light touch." Nora added. "Why? What did you think we were…Oh!"

"Wow, really Duke? Men are such pigs!" Audrey exclaimed.

"But, I…you were…I mean…" Duke was trying to find a reasonable explanation, but nothing useful was coming out. "I'm just going to go clean up."

He beat a hasty retreat to the men's restroom. As he splashed water on his face and inspected his ruined shirt, Duke replayed their conversation back in his head. Had he really misheard them? The two had seemed so taken aback at his assumptions. Of course he had. As much as she could tease, Audrey was a very private person. She'd never go near such a subject. They were probably disgusted with him; rightfully so. Now he was stuck with a situation that was far more unpleasant than visions of Nathan in the buff: Duke Crocker had some angry women to apologize to. Making nice with Audrey wasn't so daunting. He'd done it before for other stupid moves. Tomorrow, he'd drop by the station with cupcakes, let her yell at him a little, and that would be the end of it. Nora was a different subject. He didn't know how to even start that conversation. However, he also knew it couldn't wait. His accusations and eavesdropping -yes, it was eavesdropping-weren't just inappropriate. They were one step away from sexual harassment.

As he slunk out of the restroom, he heard another voice joining the women. Great, just great. Nathan had come by to meet Audrey. They were probably telling him what a colossal pervert Duke was. While that shouldn't come as a surprise to Nathan, it would royally tick him off. Now he would have to deal with that as well. At least all the other customers had left for the evening. He didn't need anyone seeing him arguing with the Chief of Police…again. Before he could decide whether to hide or to face the music, Duke heard the unexpected sound of laughter. Well, that wasn't so bad. Maybe his gaff was more entertaining than offensive. Walking over he heard an 'Oh, come on, please?' come out of Audrey. She was using that sweetly convincing tone that always got Nathan to melt. Duke too, though, he hated to admit it. From Nathan's sigh, and the following kiss to her temple, Duke knew that the other man had caved. When they turned to go, Nora coughed expectantly. With a smile and a shrug, Audrey handed her two bills. Nora grinned like a Cheshire cat and stuck the bills inside her pocket. What was that all about? The two women looked entirely too pleased with themselves. As the couple walked past him to the door, Audrey gave him a smack on the arm that held more affection than rebuke. Nathan just looked strangely smug. Something was definitely going on.

"Here, a little club soda will take out the worst of that stain on your shirt." Nora suggested, handing him a bottle and a clean bar towel.

"Thanks," he said, taking them from her, "by the way, what was that all about?"

"What was what all about?" She asked as she began the evening routine of wiping down the counters and giving the bar a going over.

"The extra money Audrey gave you." Duke replied, coming around to join her behind the bar.

"What can I say, she's a good tipper." Nora answered with a shrug.

"Tips go in the jar, Nora. What she gave you went right into your pocket." He pointed out, dabbing at his shirt. "And it was way more than a good tip."

"Oh, that." She laughed nervously. "Just a friendly wager I'd won."

"Oh, really? What was the bet on?"

"Um, whether you'd call Bill tonight before I could call him for you tomorrow." She explained. The fact that she wouldn't meet his gaze wasn't lost on him. "I told her you weren't going to break routine because of a little teasing."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a terrible liar?" Duke asked, smiling to take the bite out of the words.

"What?" She squeaked, still not looking at him.

"Your voice is higher and you can't even look at me." He observed casually, setting the towel down on the counter. The shirt was a lost cause. "Don't get me wrong, it's not technically a bad thing. But, you should probably never play cards."

"Boss, I think you may have had a little too much to drink. You're seeing things that aren't there." She huffed, moving past him to the register.

"How could I? You only gave me one glass and I spilled half of it." Duke reminded her, pressing the register drawer closed as she tried to open it. A brief staring contest took place. She was glaring. He was smirking, which meant he'd already won. After a moment, she sighed in defeat.

"It was going to be a surprise." Nora admitted.

"What was?" He asked, confused by her disappointed tone.

"Well, when Audrey was telling me about how clueless the new guy at the station was, you laughed a little. We could tell you'd heard us." Nora explained, fiddling with the end of one of her braids.

"You picked up on that?"

"You were listening in on a conversation between a detective and a bartender." She said, finally smirking back. "Even you're not that good."

"Yeah, you both don't miss a thing." Duke noted, frowning slightly at the notion of being caught out.

"Well, from the look on your face when you laughed-you know the look I'm talking about-we figured you thought she was talking about experience in a very different setting." She continued, still fiddling with her braid. "Audrey wanted to go over and smack you right then and there for being nosy. I thought it would be more fun to mess with you a little."

"And you thought it was a good idea to mess with the guy who signs your paychecks because?" He pressed, crossing his arms over his chest and glowering.

"Because I offered her a wager." She answered quickly. "If I could get you of all people to blush, she'd get Nathan make one of your parking tickets disappear. If I made your drink go up your nose, he'd write off two and Audrey would owe me a twenty."

"You certainly won on both parts." Duke replied slowly, reviewing what he'd thought he heard and his reactions.

"Promise you'll act surprised tomorrow. Audrey's looking forward to telling you about the tickets herself." Nora begged.

"I'm surprised at you, all right." He warned. "In fact, I can't decide whether I'm more angry or impressed."

"I saved you from a smack in the chops and worked it so they finally handled your parking tickets! Really, you ought to be thanking me." She defended.

"Sweetheart, there are several things I ought to do to you right now…"

Nora had the good sense to look nervous even though she knew he was doing his best not to laugh. Impressed trumped angry as she looked up at him with big green eyes that reminded him of kitten posters. Uncrossing his arms, he gave the braid she wasn't twisting a soft tug.

"But, I suppose thanking you is one of them." He conceded.

"You're welcome." Nora replied as if he'd actually said the words.

"Just don't make it a habit." Duke requested, giving the braid another little tug before letting it go.

"Wasn't planning on it," she promised. "Now, will you let me count out the register so we can go home?"

"Not yet, there's something else I want to know about. Were you really talking about Nathan's truck?"

"Yes," she sighed, a little exasperated. It was going to be a long night if he didn't let this go. "I just used terms that would set you off on the wrong direction."

"Well it certainly worked." Duke chuckled. A little more serious he added, "About what you said regarding guys with beards-"

"Oh, that was just to see if you were really paying attention." Nora interrupted, patting his arm reassuringly.

"I figured. Were you really asking her about, um, what I thought you were asking her about?"

"Do you really want the answer to that question?" She asked, giving him a knowing smile. Duke sighed, shook his head, and backed away from the register. As she tallied the receipts, Nora decided it had been a good night. Tips had been good for a weekday, no one had gotten rowdy, and she'd enjoyed the conversation. To top if off, she had pulled off an excellent prank on her very observant boss and got away with it scot-free.

"So, did you catch the game earlier today?" Asked said boss with an evil grin.

Well, almost scot-free.


End file.
